The Bumpy Rug

Today I watched an episode of Modern Family where Phil made a comment that brought understanding to what I have been feeling and experiencing recently. Claire wanted to ignore a problem she had with Gloria and just sweep it under the rug. Phil said “the problem with doing that is that eventually you will have a very bumpy rug that turns into a tripping hazard”. What a profound statement!

My blog has, for the very first time in my life allowed me to be brutally honest with my emotions to myself and to people who I have not been able to be honest with before in my life (who I wish I could be). My blog has provided me such freedom and allowed me to be authentic. Having the opportunity to be totally authentic, without concern for judgement, reaction, or tension is a wonderfully freeing and empowering thing.

Over the past two months I have “tripped” over the rug under which I have been sweeping things many times. I fear if I continue to sweep things under the rug, the next “trip” could be a very dangerous one.

All my life I have felt the need to limit everything that I say. Regardless of what was going on in life, I felt like conversations needed to remain “fluffy” or “superficial”. Sharing any true emotions was a sign of weakness and was unacceptable. The though of crying, showing fear or nervousness in front of anyone but Steve is unimaginable to me. I want to change this. I want to be able to authentically interact with those I am closest to in person, not just on the blog. Please help me do this.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jennifer Myles
    Nov 20, 2012 @ 12:59:50

    Bravo to you!
    Your thoughts make me think…The journey creates opportunities for personal growth (even when you don’t want them). You decide which ones you are going to accept and which ones you will let slide. Being authentic is about being you. Figuring out your boundaries and limits and being confident to live by them in a balanced way. Not a simple task and more of a process than an event. Be patient with yourself and do your best. That is all anyone, including you, can expect. It may not always be well received and that is OK too.
    Jon Bon Jovi said,
    Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don’t, who will?

    Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jonbonjovi394102.html#pZEr3JXcb4QmO230.99

    Reply

  2. Robin Smart
    Nov 20, 2012 @ 17:10:43

    Dear Lynsey,
    I truly believe when you open up to the world, it open up to you. Being authentic can be the kindest and smartest way to live your life. It is painfully obvious that, life isn’t always easy, but it can be richer and fuller when we appropriately share our truth with oursleves and others. The bonds built on truth and authenticity are very powerful. As always I wish you well with your journey. Often not always being the strong one is a gift we can give others – and ourselves.
    Take care,
    Robin

    Reply

  3. Facing Cancer Together
    Nov 22, 2012 @ 09:13:48

    Writing is a good first step – a base to sort out these emotions, but of course you are right – and the person to person exchange is incredibly important. I’m wishing you support and acceptance as you open up. ~Catherine

    Reply

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